the boys these days

Oh they are so wonderful. we went sledding this weekend at the reservoir. they lasted about 13 minutes, but it was totally worth it. they loved it. we are making cookies and snow forts, valentines and teepees. we are not spending enough time together, though. kindergarten is a commitment. i would tell my mother-in-law (but it would only make her feel sad) that she was right: we should have waited. he's fine...thriving even. but we're missing out on all of this time with him. it certainly remains to be seen whether it will suit him in the long run, to have been one of the youngest in his class. but it does not suit me. i miss him. tonight we had time, when i got home from my 12-hour shift to read half a comic book, for him to tell me his eyes hurt, that 10 is the first number with two digits and that the cookies we made last night are really good. o. was more awake, as he napped today. but he just snuggled down. we play this game where i kiss his chin, then he tells me where else on his face and forehead to kiss by pointing. they both still say, when one of us exits for the goodnight, "hugs and kisses for the road! tell dad and tell lara and tell mommy." lara is an amazing guide and friend to our children. today she wrote:
"Tuesday Jan. 25, 2011
A nice day with O. Many pretend car-rides and train-rides to Monett to see Gram and Pa. Many games of being rescued by O., the policeman/firefighter/doctor extraordinaire. A little drawing, painting, and reading. One episode of Diego (I caved.) Some play time outside in the snow - we added to the snow fortress. After about fifteen minutes, Owen said, 'Lara, I'm freezing out here.' He ate a good lunch - ham, cheese, broccoli, and toast with lemon curd, and milk. Asleep by 12:30."
O. pooped on the potty at home for the first time yesterday. We celebrated with 5 jellybeans and a sticker of Swiper from Dora on the new potty chart. He was and is extremely proud of himself. It's funny the things parenting inspires: pride in pooping on the toilet almost brought tears to my eyes yesterday. A victory is a victory.
I adore these boys. I push the older one too hard. I need to soften. Praying to God "your will your will your will" & "thank you for love thank you thank you thank you." I think it's helping.