literally

Making art and saving the world. Makes my heart beat differently to think of someone I know actually living this dream. Living literally is what I do. Now it's as though I feel if it doesn't make practical sense, well, it's not worth anything at all. I act this way. With Pat. With the kids. With the world. Where has my ability to pretend gone? Economics has taken me over. I don't want to be this way in my personal life. I need to get my creative back on. I guess I'd need to make time for this and space. It's funny, now I think of making art, and I can't think of making something that wouldn't be useful. Sewing, cooking, gardening. These are the things that feel worthwhile to me now. But there was a day when I'd scribble just to feel the pen scratch the paper. I miss that. And my kids are missing that, too, as I stamp the freedom out of them with my ideas about when we have to be where and why we do and don't do things. Gotta fix this now.