literally

Making art and saving the world. Makes my heart beat differently to think of someone I know actually living this dream. Living literally is what I do. Now it's as though I feel if it doesn't make practical sense, well, it's not worth anything at all. I act this way. With Pat. With the kids. With the world. Where has my ability to pretend gone? Economics has taken me over. I don't want to be this way in my personal life. I need to get my creative back on. I guess I'd need to make time for this and space. It's funny, now I think of making art, and I can't think of making something that wouldn't be useful. Sewing, cooking, gardening. These are the things that feel worthwhile to me now. But there was a day when I'd scribble just to feel the pen scratch the paper. I miss that. And my kids are missing that, too, as I stamp the freedom out of them with my ideas about when we have to be where and why we do and don't do things. Gotta fix this now.

today is the greatest...

beautiful morning with Owen. spring. yard. hammock. "going to work" with buckets and returning "home" for a giant welcoming hug. hammock with books and duck. cheesy eggs. snuggles galore. so good.