mission

This place, Saint Louis...not the place I thought I'd land. I'm here though. We're here. And we have a wonderful life here. And the promise of more good work...so much more. Pat's on the verge of a metamorphosis, work-wise. Eli just wants his blue blanket washed for tomorrow. And I am thinking that as long as we can show him, lean him toward the good stuff....THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF...not very subtle. But he can know it. What's good. The other night he asked Pat, "Daddy, when is my skin going to turn brown?" I love him!!! I'm so grateful for him...his mind. His heart. He's such a good person. And Pat. He has Pat. So does Owen. Owen is less known now. He's younger. Will it always feel that way, that we know him less well? If so,is it because we just haven't known him for as long, or is he more of a secret? Right now I'm tending toward thinking we are our complete family. Hard to imagine a 3rd child...a 5th person. I just don't know if we have it in us...and I know we have more than enough to be a great family just how we are. This awesome family I worked with today at Barnes was a perfect match. Strange...when they have something serious going on, I appreciate them more. The pt.'s brother was shot last night at 3am walking home on N. Grand. His mom was with my patient...the pt. is 17. So grateful to have had them there. I chose their night nurse. I hope it was a good fit. Patience. THE key to L&D. Need to work on it. If we stay, I'm considering working toward the well-women's birthing center. Maybe my mission? Not my frame of reference exactly (as in my conversation with Mary W.) Brian, Mary, Pat...work as framework for life. Pat, not exactly...he is humanist. Work is not paradigm exactly, but is extension of his worldview. Me...not so much. But it could be. Clinic.
Separately, the whole battery-op car for boys as gift from Cali...a mess. But honest on our part. We are trying to give our boys a good worldview. Trying to give them a reality based on who they are, not what they have. Tricky. And then the tv shows. Geez. We don't allow much tv, but we are allowing crap. Need to strive to allow the good stuff to permeate, while we still have a say in things.