doorknobs and bedtimes

should be out of whack sleepwise, just out of whack stuffnbusiness-wise. i mean, a mess. but everyone is well and safe, though not soundly asleep in bed. even though it's 9pm. worked a night on monday. it's wednesday. worked a day today. wacky. but benadryl helped. and this beautiful weather makes everything okay. sonya's--i mean our---garden is coming up beautifully. the trees are budding. we've weeded, composted, turned the raised beds...boys sowed radishes and sugar snap peas and planted some beet starts. it's a token veggie garden this year. we have enough to do without major food cultivation. door knobs are falling off and there's a hole in the kitchen floor. but next year...next year man.
owen's bedtime has moved to 8ish. tonight apparently 9ish. i was late home from work...late admission, hate to leave things undone there. it's the one place i have order, plus i don't want people dishin' behind my back that i leave a bunch of crap i should have finished. plus the guilt. where does patient care fit in, you wonder? well, it's there. it's just not why i stayed late tonight. good delivery of a baby with a brain anomaly today. awesome family, orienting a new coworker. she's not brand new to W&I nursing, so that helps.
went to a meeting last night for eli's new school--cgm charter. it's going to be good if a little ragtag. which we like. new teachers to be hired for his classroom, though, both. bummer there, but the reading specialist we really like is still going to be there. and the upper division room seems awesome. i need to freshen up my Montessori lingo. he'll love it...worried it won't be structured enough, but pat says it will.
working tomorrow then off to monett for easter. hoping to get called off tomorrow so i can organize, clean and pack...with the windows open while the boys play in the yard with lara...occasionally bringing garden finds in for me to see and smell. love them in the yard. in the house. in the bed. awake or asleep. all is quiet now except for pat's breathing...asleep on the couch.

because elements are mostly made of elephant

scrambly. 24 hrs of work in 48. like thinking. tired, too. chicken/egg. alligator. work love. and work some more. blood bank improvement meeting today. 2 sets of twins, one of triplets. l&d, meeting, triage, l&D. break it down. build it up. simplest not most accurate, but tried to explain it could be. bj is a big old system. big old the man, really. it's like our country: distribution of power and knowledge is so specialized that it's really hard to devise improvement. motivation needs to come from inside each person...to learn and to do things the right ways. there is no fail-safe. no human-safe (foolproof) activity. because we are human. hooman. carbon nitrogen hydrogen and oxygen. mostly. elephants, too.

pb

peanut butter. and lead.
come on come on and meet the elements. wish i didn't know pb. damned lead in the paint.
anxiety. damned anxiety.

I LOVE WORDS. I love speaking them. I love typing them. I love rereading the words I type. I love to write. I love it.

full-time returns

All these thoughts, no time to write. Time to write, none of these thoughts. Ah me.
Crazy day at work today. Liters of blood pouring out of my patient. She is fine now. The baby is tiny, but as well as is possible.
Owen up a lot at night, funny lately. Open-mouth tired eyes fuzzy head superman jams off-the-shoulder kiss through the gate goodbye yesterday morning en route to work. Eli is struggling with the move, with his brother's cuteness, with being 4.5. He's brilliant but soft. I need to let his softness be...encourage it. This is hard for me; I'm not sure why.
Envelope system for personal money in action for March for first time. Interesting so far.
First 3-day work week in more than a year. Okay, really. Even though it was like a beehive that had been batted at a little.
Tired parents we are. Blessed people we are. JM said she's better when she's a little tired. Maybe I am too. Edges fuzzier like that.
Fuzz. Snuggle buddy noggin. Morning here we come. Goodnight.